“Why Do Adults Fantasize?”
The majority of people feel guilty or ashamed about having sexual fantasies.
Men won’t admit to fantasies and self love sessions. They would have you believe
they are doing ‘the real thing.’ Women are most likely to feel uneasy about
fantasies that involve someone other than her steady partner, or someone they
consider “inappropriate” for instance, a relative, someone much
younger or older, or someone of the same sex.
In most cases, the things we fantasize about are not necessarily things we
would choose to act on. In fact, people frequently don’t wish to act on the
fantasies they have. Fantasizing about sexual situations, including those that
are unusual or extreme, is “a safe way to experience and explore our erotic
feelings in all their infinite variety.”
For example: Many women have “rape” fantasies, in which they are
sexually overtaken by an unknown man. In this type of fantasy, a woman
imagines that the man is so taken with her, he has to have her. But, in no
way does having such a fantasy mean that a woman wants to be violently raped in
real life. Indeed, when a woman has a “rape” fantasy, she is
actually controlling the conditions of the encounter in her mind. This safe and
idealized fantasy of sexually submitting to a powerful stranger is a far cry
from the trauma of actual rape.
Similarly, most men who fantasize about sexually overpowering a woman are not would-be rapists. Guys fantasize about being in a room with several females. He never fails to satisfy each one in turn.